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Last week in lunch, Riley says to a classmate, "Can a nigga borrow a french fry? As a matter of fact I get to set the rules about what is appropriate to say and what is not appropriate to say! As soon as Catcher Freeman rides through here with his brigade and cuts that cracker's head clean off, unh, I'm outta here. (Catcher jumps out a tree and proceeds to kill some white men) Get them, Catcher! " and my first thought wasn't "Oh my god, he said the word; the n-word." It was "Now how is a nigga gonna borrow a fry? Forrrrr example: The other day a youth walked up to ME and asked "what it do? You ain't never see no nigga be gone like Ima be gone. You ain't seen no nigga ride out like me AND Ima join the gang. He go round from plantation to plantation freein' all the slaves and shit. " He sounded like he was auditioning for a slave epic! I got a letter sayin' I could join Catcher Freeman's brigade and ride out with that nigga. Proper way to say that sentence is "What DOES it do? Possessed Tom: (breaks free from the handcuff on his right arm) Ah-hah! Butch: (punches a kid and takes his sandwich) What kind of sandwich is this? Or did y'all miss it because he wasn't speakin' in baboon? Instead of sittin' here and choppin' off the brillo off each other's heads,y'all should take your black asses TO Iraq AND HELP FIGHT FOR OUR FREEDOM!
Here's Riley goin' up against Kobe Bryant, and breaks his ankle! This is an opportunity to observe you niggas in your natural habitat and collect data. I don't care how big her adam's apple is, she's still all woman! He calls me "nigga", he calls the other kids "nigga", he calls himself nigga. "Nigga this, nigga that." "Nigga, please." "Bitch nigga." "Nigga, have you lost your mind? But I'm gonna show Master Colonel my screenplay and when he reads it, he's gonna know this could be a huge projection. Y'all aint give me a chance to tell y'all my story! Plus he had 300 hoes and didn't just have no Thelma, he had all kinds of bitchez! The brand new Gangstalicious video, the song is called Homies Over Hos. Ed Wuncler III: (into his Bluetooth while Gin Rummy is bending over to look under the bed) "You know I like the way your booty looks when you bend over; I like that a lot. Boy lets get some music on, turn on the Mypod lets get on the ISpace (We then see clips of Grandpa taking pictures of himself in various poses)Granddad: Yeah, this retarded man is gone whoop your little ass that's what he's gonna do... Ohh yeah your dream, look boy, Stinkmeaner aint comin back, he cant hurt you, me, or any of us ok..lets get one more picture. See, the white man just got a better liver,white man eats his meat raw. (A white male gets out of a bathroom stall with his pants halfway down) Now how you doin' on this fine day sir? It's not enough that the shows are bad, they have to be evil as well. (camera cuts to a tall, large black man bald man dressed in black with a black female dressed in black with an afro and large gold hoop earrings) These are my evil henchmen, Big Nigga and Crazy Bitch. So those people know not to waste time talking to ya until you finish, which you indicate, by putting that mothafucka away! yeah I'm real ready."Gangstalicious: (dancing with a bottle of Hennesey and a tennis racket) "Uh! So his ignorance makes you act crazy, and the next thing you know, niggas is beefin', shootin', fightin', and somebody ends up dead. You have my blessings to exact vengance on the Freeman family and to spread ignorance and chaos in the black community. Grandad: I'm starting to feel like Shamar Moore up in here, Hoo! A Pimp Named Slickback don't do shit for the homies. And the same goes for brothers, peeps, dudes, fellas, dunnies, comrades, whatever the fuck niggas is callin' each other nowadays. But I tell ya what that I've been cleaning bathrooms for a long time and I can say that white man (Beep) don't smell the same as black African (Beep).Young Black Man: Fuck you, punk-ass, pussy-ass hook-ass, nigga! Nate Dogg: You just mad 'cos yo' ass is old (Macktastic: Old motherfucker! A Pimp Named Slickback: So you see, my dearest Riley, it is this instinctive and burning need to procreate between a man and a bitch that not only keeps the human race going but also fuels many important industries such as my very own. Uncle Ruckus: I got somethin' for a fraternity for niggas. Hey, I got a black fraternity for ya, it's called prison! Probably have to start selling crack, or rappin' or rappin' 'bout selling crack.(Tom flinches) I'll beat your motherfuckin' sadiddy ass, nigga! Thugnificent: [gesturing to his hometown], "Now, this right here, is where I grew up. I seen a nigga get killed right over there, you know? Ya know that reading shit, yaknamean, it's hard, son! Word, yaknamean, especially when them books be, yakneamn? )/ First thing you do is just pick up the phone (Thugnificent: Eat a dick, nigga! A Pimp Named Slickback: I don't think Homies Over Hoes is a sentiment that A Pimp Named Slickback can cosign, Riley. A Pimp Named Slickback would put a lot of things over a ho. Ya know, I probably might not even have re-vitiligo. Uncle Ruckus: Lee Bron James, Allen Iverson,can I get a shoe named after a white man, PLEASE?!