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To potential friends and employers, I'm Anna Davies from day one, but potential boyfriends only know me as Annabelle Kathryn until at least date three.I began using the name in my early twenties, when I realized just how many first dates were Googling me before we met and unearthing essays on topics ranging from why I love hooking up with guests at weddings to that time I told a guy I was moving to California just to get him to stop texting me.Instead of trying to hide who we are, I advise clients to do due diligence, and see what comes up in their Google search." Crosslin also explains that, in general, most people don't go beyond the second search page unless they're actually digging for dirt."Most of my clients know that they'll be Googled, and I advise them to make sure that they like the things that come up in their first two pages of search results."Following Crosslin's advice, I was pleased (and relieved) that the initial pages of my own search were NBD—and, actually, stuff that I'd be proud to have a guy see before he met me."The right match will be intrigued by what he or she finds." And it's worth the reminder that it goes both ways: If you don't want him to judge you for your late night Twitter rants, don't judge him for his emo Tumblr from a few years back.And as for me, I'll go back to introducing myself as Anna.Which is why dating coach Courtney Crosslin, founder of adatecoach.com, feels that deliberately hiding your identity isn't a failsafe technique—and you may as well let a potential partner know the real you sooner rather than later.
Also a disturbing number of fake profiles clearly created by middle-aged perverts, most of them written in broken foreign English, but claiming to be from either the US or UK.
But if things seem to be going well, he seems to be genuine, there's no reason to actively conceal your identity long term."Providing a partial or different name to a date provides a false sense of security," she says.
"The fact is, we live in a world where our lives are played out online.
I was proud of the things I'd written—the story about my cross-country lie was published in The New York Times—but I also realized that these stories could seriously skew how a guy viewed me on a first date, especially if he didn't have similarly revealing search results.
At best, it presented an uneven playing field—he knew nearly everything about me, while I knew almost nothing about him.